It’s been over 2 months. I’m finally through processing I believe. I feel like I can wake up again. I feel like I have said my goodbyes. Made my peace. The nightmares have faded, the dreams subsided. I no longer cry when a song comes on the radio. I no longer am afraid to dance. No longer afraid what will happen if I care about someone again.
Life is not about the I could have’s, or the I should have’s.
Life is about Trying. Failing, and Trying Again.
Honestly I’m not ready to let her go, but it’s the only way to move on with my life. To move forward. She is apart of me now. More than any women in my life up until now.
I firmly believe she’s the only woman who has ever truly loved me unconditionally. Never cared about money, never cared about what we thought of each other. Never afraid to be honest. Never afraid to reveal our imperfections.
Now I realize why she was in my life. To show me that I’m lovable. That I can be loved, that I deserve love. I just need to open up again. To not run and hide the beauty that is in my soul.
She taught me how to dance, and she taught me how to love again. Not just others, but truly love myself. For that I will always be grateful.
Life is truly a journey. One I wish she would have been around to see where I go next, to dance with me, to be apart of the adventure. She always will be within my soul, in my heart, and in the quiet paths when I’m alone dancing with me all over again.