There’s a lot that can to be said right now. I’m not ready to share most of it. What I can share is that life is precious. Life is a treasure, a thing we should all cherish. To often in my life I have taken it for granted. I have taken for granted my skills. Often using them merely to make money, or to profit, or for greed. I have often not been the human I should be.
On the other hand I have often been a good person, a great person, and an amazing thinker. All of that is worthless when you are facing death in the eye and God gives you another chance, another opportunity. An opportunity that was not granted a dear friend of mine. Our lives intertwined for what now seems like an eternity, and in a moment they were gone. Hers torn from this universe, separated from the things that surround us day in and day out. I left feeling guilty that there was not more I could do to save her.
These events have left me feeling traumatized, saddened, angry, and yet grateful for the life that I have that I shouldn’t have. The one that was regifted to me.
In the crashing aftermath I wonder why it was her that lost her life, and not me. I wonder why there isnt justice in this world. I wonder if each and every day I will think about that day that changed my universe, my outlook on life. I wonder if I will ever get back to normalcy. For the time being I am finding people and tranquility in the simple things, I am taking joy in the simplicity of the world that surrounds us.
I have moved on from Baja California, Tijuana, and San Diego to a place I used to call home. Montana. I am grateful for each and every day that I am alive. I am grateful for my friends, and the relationships I have and for the experiences I have, for the places I have been.
Now I chart a difference course. I see myself in a new light. I see a new path on the horizon. A healthier path, a simpler path. I have seen death looming, and God spared me from it. Maybe just for today, but if its for today I am grateful.
May He also give me the grace to live each day a humble servant of Love. May he guard and protect those He loves. May justice rain down on those who harm the innocent. May He forgive me for all the things that I have done to fall short of love towards mankind and towards Him.