I’ve journeyed far and wide in the last ten years and I’m a better person for it and for that I have no regrets. I’ve learned more than I could ever imagine. I think slowly my heart has changed in the last year or so as I realized my own arrogance is worth about as much as a bag of salt. Wanting desperately to wash away the things I don’t like in myself, craving desperately not only for deeper relationships with people and God but wishing that the two weren’t always on a collosion path all the time. I see a friend of mine whose life is so much like mine that it breaks my heart he’s stuck in addictive coping mechanisms when in reality he’s just a broken hearted man desperately in need of a healing process. Isn’t that what we all need, a healing process?
Earlier this month I was angry, lonely, and just plain out bitter. I saw a potential for getting into a codependent relationship and using this to wipe away my own problems. I tried desperately to sort out my own issues it was painful, it was lonely. I had to let go of hopes and dreams in order to see what was right in front of me. Myself.
Hidden beneath all my own issues I am a good person, with the capability to do good. I am strengthened by the Bible, not organized religion as much. In the bible it’s fairly clear that our legacy is not neccesarily a series of actions but often times one significant one. To approach each day, each interaction, each relationship as though it is the reason I exist is my goal, my passion and my dream. Littered behind me a drove of mistakes, littered in front of me a pathway full of more as well. But contentment and peace drive me onward with the knowledge that I’m blessed with the greatest friends a man could have, and man on a path toward the destiny God intended, and the one I desire.