Have you ever wondered what would happen if you fell asleep and never woke again? I’m sitting here pondering the very notion. A few years ago I was stuck in the worst depression of my life. I remember one night literally hoping I would die. The darkness of that moment still haunts me to this day. I think it’s hard to understand people that suffer from depression. They are stuck in their own small worlds and they don’t want to come out – not really anyhow.
I am laying here wondering what would have been. Had I not woke up that night. I would have never met so many of you. I would have never travelled to numerous cities, and places, I would have never visit two countries. I would have never experienced love the way its meant to be experienced. I would have never lived life to the fullest. I would have believed and died by society’s rules. I would have never danced in the rain on Christmas. I would have never ran to catch a train in Manhattan. I would have never fallen in love with Sam. I would have never lost Sam. in the end we live and let live and death could come at any moment.
But ever since that night I’ve tried to do one thing to live life and live it to the fullest. I’ve made more mistakes than neccessary. I’ve pissed off more people than neccesary but in the end I don’t regret a thing. The greatest most amazing thing I’ve ever accomplished and if it’s the only thing I ever do in my life. I’ve learned to live from my heart. I’ve learned to accept the pain. I’ve learned to dance again. i’ve learned to sing. I’ve learned to adventure. I’ve learned to climb mountain peaks. I’ve learned to sit alone. I’ve learned to love without conditions. I’ve learned to fail so I can learn. I’ve learned to mess up and laugh about it.
In a hundred years no one will know my name. But I hope somehow I’ve managed to pass along a legacy and that legacy is this. I hope somehow I can help one person live from their heart and live fully.