I’ve been wanting to do another update but I wanted to wait. Much of the whole experience was very exhausting. I’m still honestly not the same since I’ve been out. The experience in and off itself was absolutely terrifying. I thought I would brush it off. The memories all seem so distant — but the emotional scars remain, the shock of the event has left scars that I’m not really certain how to sort out.
Lately I’ve been having major problems sleeping. I can only think that this is a result of being awake for nearly a week and really messing up my sleep patterns. I’ve been fighting off a cold for 2 weeks and well I’m exhausted. And yet I feel just fine. It’s hard to explain.
While I have been set free and given my ticket to liberty ( boleta de libertad) I am still a prisoner. My heart is broken by the thought of anyone having to be imprisoned in those conditions. My heart is broken at the thought of anyone who might be falsely imprisoned like we were and having to suffer the consequences, and possibly meet their death there.
Before the holidays get’s near I want to put out my collection of stories and yet its difficult for me to finish this story. Because of my own prison I now face. A prison of sorrow toward those who have to go there. A sense of helplessness has overwhelmed me of late. Like no matter how hard I try that I can not help these people.
And yet deep down my dream is to make a documentary about this place called La Mesa. So the world might know its horrors that are just a few miles from the freest country in the world.